Ever wonder what really happened at Cinderella's ball? Well, hear all about it from one of Cindy's stepsisters; this week, Canderella Honeybottom takes a moment to tell drama on the waterfront her story, and it is shocking stuff. To see what happened after the ball, bring your kids to Ugly Stepsisters at Circa during the school holiday, 10-21 April.
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| Ugly Stepsisters Canderella (left) and Griselda Honeybottom. |
"So there I was, having the time of my life. Griselda Honeybottom and I were the last two on the prince's dance card and, frankly, she didn’t really stand a chance, what with the wooden leg and the halitosis. My turn was up as soon as the band came back from their break. I thought that I would use the opportunity to powder my nose, as we ladies will often do. I was at the mirror when in she came. You know who I mean. That pompous, arrogant upstart Cinderella. She had no right to be there after mother strictly forbade her from coming for continuously knocking on the three blind mice's door and not talking when they answered. The poor things had no idea who was there. But anyway, in she strolled and nudged my elbow while I was applying my lippy, causing me to draw a great big lipstick line right up my left nostril. She knows full well how hard “Everlast Shimmer” lipstick is to get off. I was stuck in that bathroom for 15 minutes just trying to wash it off.
In the meantime, little miss high and mighty slipped a sleeping potion into Griselda’s lemonade and Griselda had started to snore incredibly loudly. So loudly, in fact, that the King and Queen had her removed from the ballroom. This meant, of course, that Cinderella had the prince all to herself. Even when I came back from the bathroom, she wouldn’t let him dance with me. I found out later in the evening that she had told the prince that I suffered from a rare condition and that when I danced with someone, all my teeth and hair falls out and he wouldn’t want to be responsible for me being toothless and bald, would he? The little minx! Could you imagine? So I was sidelined for the rest of the evening. Oh, there were others there of course. I danced with the Pied Piper for a while but he is a terrible bore. No wonder people refuse to pay him. The Gingerbread man was very nice but after holding his hand in a waltz for a couple of minutes he became too sticky. And don’t get me started on Georgie Porgie!
Anyway, after about two hours of watching miss “butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth” she suddenly declared that the ball was over and it was time for everyone to go home. The cheek of it! Who does she think she is? It’s not even her party! And when people tried to intervene and tell her that it really wasn’t her place to tell everyone when to go home she threw a huge tantrum and stormed off. Out on the steps she took her slipper off and threw it at me just because I was trying to reason with her and tell her it was only five to twelve at night. Which really isn’t that late for us adults. Rumour has it the prince will be looking for the owner of the slipper tomorrow and is going to make them apologise publicly. If I were a lesser woman I’d tell the prince who she is and where she lives, but why lower myself to her level?
In the meantime, little miss high and mighty slipped a sleeping potion into Griselda’s lemonade and Griselda had started to snore incredibly loudly. So loudly, in fact, that the King and Queen had her removed from the ballroom. This meant, of course, that Cinderella had the prince all to herself. Even when I came back from the bathroom, she wouldn’t let him dance with me. I found out later in the evening that she had told the prince that I suffered from a rare condition and that when I danced with someone, all my teeth and hair falls out and he wouldn’t want to be responsible for me being toothless and bald, would he? The little minx! Could you imagine? So I was sidelined for the rest of the evening. Oh, there were others there of course. I danced with the Pied Piper for a while but he is a terrible bore. No wonder people refuse to pay him. The Gingerbread man was very nice but after holding his hand in a waltz for a couple of minutes he became too sticky. And don’t get me started on Georgie Porgie!
Anyway, after about two hours of watching miss “butter wouldn’t melt in my mouth” she suddenly declared that the ball was over and it was time for everyone to go home. The cheek of it! Who does she think she is? It’s not even her party! And when people tried to intervene and tell her that it really wasn’t her place to tell everyone when to go home she threw a huge tantrum and stormed off. Out on the steps she took her slipper off and threw it at me just because I was trying to reason with her and tell her it was only five to twelve at night. Which really isn’t that late for us adults. Rumour has it the prince will be looking for the owner of the slipper tomorrow and is going to make them apologise publicly. If I were a lesser woman I’d tell the prince who she is and where she lives, but why lower myself to her level?
Love Canderella Honeybottom xx"
This year The Improvisors have created a KIDS season to celebrate the unsung heroes of fairy tales, with a look at the ‘true’ stories behind the other side of beloved fairy tales!
First up in the April school holidays is Cinderella’s Ugly Stepsisters as they carry on after she marries the Prince. With a hilarious all male cast – these Ugly Stepsisters embark on a series of self-improvements to discover beauty is not just skin deep!
As always we welcome and encourage the audience to come dressed up for the occasion – Knights, Princesses, Bears, Fairies, Batman are all welcome to add to the interactive experience.
So come on down to Circa Theatre to participate in the fun, dress up and join the story!
To book, call the Circa Box Office at 801-7992 or go online at www.circa.co.nz.
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